No News is Good News

A police officer in Uganda has reportedly shot a tortoise dead after being attacked by the “aggressive”
I read this. I read it twice . I read it thrice. Oh I missed out the fact that I laughed straight for 10 minutes after reading it the second time. An aggressive tortoise ? Wow. I do not know what or whom to trust.What’s next I wonder. A Bat attempts to rape woman? Cat caught with human slave? Wait ! That might happen sooner than you think.

Man accidentally joins Antarctic expedition.
This was inspiring for me. The other day I told myself I was getting too clumsy because I accidentally forgot to turn off my PC before leaving for a holiday.My mom called me careless and butterfingers because I accidentally spilt a glass of Coke on the new couch.And then I see this. Motivating.At least I don’t end up in the South Pole accidentally!

Ram attacks and destroys drone.
By Ram I don’t mean the Hindu Deity. That’d be absurd. On the other hand , this might be absurd-er. Ram , the goat like mammal who feeds on leaves and weeds.That destroyed a Drone. This animal thing is beginning to give me the creeps.

Man accidentally displays porn on big screen in China.
Now I’m confident that I’m the most careful person ever. Come on , screen handler guy , you had one bloody job.

News is now in the intersection of Information and Recreation, slowly moving towards the latter.

Sheep kill sleep.

The other day , I had an exam. Had to wake up at 6.
The previous night , I thought about staying up till 12 , hoping 6 hours of sleep might just be enough rest. I laugh when I think about that now.

12. Tucked in , a little excited , taking off the wrist watch , glasses and the drill. As my eyes are closed , I decide to just count sheep and I’m off to sleep. I remember that when I reached 17 , it started a complete different train of thought.17 is how old I am now , so I start thinking off all the stuff I’m going to do the second I turn 18. Just to be clear , this only means stuff like driving a car and voting.It may seem regular and mediocre , but it sure as hell doesn’t seem so when you’re almost 18. Then I started fantasising about taking long drives with Z. The love of my life. That got my heart racing a little. I open my eyes to take a sip of water , and happen to get a glimpse of my watch.2:15 it screams. 2:15. That’s like 4, no ! not even 4 complete hours of sleep ! Not even if I somehow immediately go to sleep! As my brain calculates , the excitement sustains. Increased Heart Rate = no sleep.

This was my plight till about 2 more hours , eyes closed , tucked in but still not asleep. Oh and I say 2 hours because I remember the last time I saw the watch that night it was 4:10.
Anyway the exam went well , My head hurt a little, but it was tolerable.I slept like a log after I got home. Bliss. Total Bliss.

Moral? Don’t count sodding sheep in order to fall asleep.

Oh My Sod

I’m an atheist . I do not believe in God . So , like everything else , I’m free to criticise and scrutinise God .
To start with , The Hindu religion has 330 million deities. I’m not even kidding , look it up.( Oh I’m supposed to be Hindu too , so do not get offended).
330 million. Damn.
I’m supposing there must have been a time when the number of Gods actually exceeded the number of devotees.
3-4 Gods per devotee.( talk about the good old days , eh) . Even the average human head has 100,000 strands of hair. I say again , Damn.
One of the most prevailing and popular ritual is the fast. Fasting is a process in which a person is supposed to not eat , in order to please his/her deity , and convince him to forgive his convalesces or to ask for something. Most people ask for money , which they will again spend on (surprise , surprise!) – Food. Smart.
But I think this logic is pretty sound and works. Look at Africa . Hungry people and millions of diamonds. Works.
Oh my Sod.

Darth Empathy

I have always loved Star Wars , like a million other people. I’ve not only seen the movies multiple times, but also delved into a fair amount of Expanded Universe novels.
I relate better to the Prequel era. Before you quit reading , let me explain .
First , Better special effects – there’s no denying it , the movies in the 2000s had much better graphics and looked amazing. Yoda looked more – real.
Second , I’ve always felt so sorry and sad for Anakin. I feel as if he was duped . He was wrong , of course, but also fooled I believe. He lost his wife. Lost his best friend. Lost his body. Also partly his soul.
So I’ve always empathised with Anakin. There was a book that featured his full life from his point of view. How he felt throughout the betrayal, after it.
But eventually he did fulfil the prophecy. He met his son . He was reunited with his master and friend. Star Wars musings are always so enlightening .

Humorously Yours.

So I am an introvert.I am shy.I am almost misanthropic. It’s just how my brains wired. I’m generally skeptical about completely opening up , because somewhere I feel I’ll end up alienating the few people who actually care. Hence this blog.
The blog , yeah I want to vent out , think aloud , and speak my mind without the fear of being judged.I may come about as snotty but I’m not. This blog will be about,well, how I feel about everything under the sun.
Still here? I am not a funny person , but my view of the world makes most people laugh , hence I put up that exterior most of the time , gaining me some friends at the most.
This blog will also feature , let’s call it Z. Z is something I’ve always wanted since the past 8 years of my life. What is Z? Read on and find out. Views always welcome.( see ? I’m not snotty)